[momma0265]

Today we got the pathology reports that confirmed what all the technical types have said .......DAD HAS STAGE 4 LUNG CANCER I live 16 hours away on a good weather day and its right in the middle of a good old northern plains winter. I feel really far away. My mom is calling me alot and I feel so helpless.I am the oldest of 4 children and frankly I am the most responsible so my Mom leans on me alot! My job really doesn't allow alot of free time off and frankly I can't really afford to be gone now(I work at a school so summers are not paid.) I want to know if anyone has a crystal ball and if so what are the odds my dad will be okay till June? He had a stroke 6 yrs ago and has been in a nursing home since about 6 months after the stroke His health has been far from good but until a couple of months ago he seemed pretty good. He can't talk or walk(only 66 yrs old) so we really didn't suspect cancer when he got a chest cold(so we thought). The nurse sent him for a chest xray and well the rest is history. 7 nodules divided between the two lungs they are only pea sized(I think),but he also has something on his adrenal gland(forgive my spelling). I get all my information 3rd party through my Mom so sometimes I just have to gleen what I can from it.Wednesday the oncologist will go over our options.......if anyone out there reads this please pray for some positive news for my DAD....for me. I love him and want to be able to spend time with him not just be at his funeral.

[Davy9]

It sounds as though your dad has a number of strikes against him. What you need to consider is not just whether you will see him alive but in what state you will see him alive. You would rather see him in his best condition and that will most certainly be sooner rather than later. I would suggest a family conference and that you all formulate a concerted approach to help your mom and to allow each of you what is needed to deal with the situation.

Insofar as the cancer goes the staging does not define exactly how dire the situation is. They can treat stage 4 cancer and they can stave it off and they do sometimes eradicate it. But if a single tumor sits in a particularly sensitive spot it could be lethal in short order.

But your dad has other limits as well. Perhaps you should contact the medical social worker at your mom's local hospital and ask about the hospice services offered in that area. Hospice care is precisely geared for all that will be required for your dad, mom and the entire family. The only note of caution is to be certain about funding for hospice care. Coverage by Medicare is sometimes limited when the party is in a nursing home.

[momma0265]

Thank you!!!

[Spawnangel]

Hi,

just read your post and it is very similar to what my father went through. At first he noticed a lump on his neck and thought nothing of it. Then he started to get pins and needles in his fingers, over the next few weeks the pins and needles spread to his arm. He went for a check up and we found out that he had stage 4 lung cancer, which had spread to his neck and brain ( confirmed 24th Dec 2010). Then a few days later he had a stroke which took his right side ( face, arm) and slowly his leg.
Started to suffer from chest pains after this,so we had to get him to ED. Then to wait for treatment which never came until 30 odd days later. By then they shipped us off home with alsorts
of wonderful drugs and plans to help dad recover, like rehad for speech and walking etc. Finally we got to see a specialist which was 30 days too late. As dad hadn't improved and was at a stage that they could do only palative raditiation treatment and no chemo. So with this treatment we were looking at 6-8months if the treatment worked.

Radiation treatment =10 days, which we only got to 7 treatments as it was not working. Took him home on the thursday, died on sunday 21st feb 2010. We got 56 days.

Through it all we cared for him at home, all the family helped out ( 3 of us) with a few friends.
Yes it was tough but it was the Best and the Worst time ever, I had with my Dad. I too was getting alot of info 2nd, third hand and then in the end I went straight to the horses mouth and wanted to know what was going on. The more info you know the better, so for one you are better prepared and so no one can pull the wool over your eyes. Never take no for an answer. As I have found out, we waited 30 days as they said they were fully booked up, but treatment only takes 3 minutes a session.

So never take " no sorry there is nothing we can do" cause they can if they just tried a little bit more and give just 3 minutes of there time. Another thing I learned is that Junior Doctors are just that Juniors. Best to go to the top and see the boss as they treat you better.

Hope some of this helps, I know when I went on the forms I wanted to find the success stories, but it was few and far between for stage 4. I was hoping for the best..........