Erectile Dysfunction

[livingwith]

My husband suffers from low levels of testosterone. This leads to low libidi & erectile dysfunction. For many years into our marriage, we were not aware of the medical cause and this made both of us feel inadequate. We only discovered the cause when we struggled to fall pregnant after our first child and failed. Even though this knowledge brought a measure of comfort, it did not solve our problems. We have worked hard at sustaining a good relationship outside the bedroom, but the problems ar...Read the full article

[JJ41]

My husband suffers from low levels of testosterone. This leads to low libidi & erectile dysfunction. For many years into our marriage, we were not aware of the medical cause and this made both of us feel inadequate. We only discovered the cause when we struggled to fall pregnant after our first child and failed. Even though this knowledge brought a measure of comfort, it did not solve our problems. We have worked hard at sustaining a good relationship outside the bedroom, but the problems ar[hc_livingwith=livingwith.urologychannel.com|/erectile-dysfunction/20070908_2454||20070908_2454]READ[/hc_livingwith]

Hi, thanks for sharing that. I can completely relate to how you feel.

My partner has ED for the last 10 years and my head tells me it's not me but in my heart there is
always that nagging doubt 'is it me?' He also has constantly reassured me that it isn't and it's due
to Diabetes.
My sexual self esteem has taken a beating and I rarely initiate any physical contact even if I have
a great desire to do so as I have never wanted him to feel pressured. I often don't feel wanted and
desired as a woman. It is not something I could find outside of the relationship because I only want it from the man I love.

I also have nobody to talk about my feelings with as to do so I would have to disclose his ED and I would never do that to him as it is such a very personal matter.
He is not particularly open to talking about it and I feel also that if I talk to him about my feelings he
just feels worse than he already does.

It is not due to the fact that intercourse cannot take place. In fact, from my side it has never been the best part just a means to an end at times LOL. Not that I don't like it and it's not just the physical aspect but the emotional feelings of being one.
The lack of desire for intimate affection is what really hurts.

It has got to the point of me considering that I suggest to him that he try being with another woman
to find the reassurance I need. But I'm fairly sure I couldn't handle that regardless of the outcome.

If it were just about sexual satisfaction, there are other options. But it isn't. It's about the difference between being best friends & lovers and not just best friends.

He obviously has many issues related to his ED that are very difficult for him but they are also my (our) issues.

Resentment can be very destructive. I'm not sure if you have tried counseling but it may help with the indirect effects of his ED. It helped me somewhat in overcoming the feelings of resentment I had. It's not going to help with the ED and if he is not comfortable attending counseling then you can go on your own and perhaps find your own strategies to deal with the emotions involved.

I think most women in our position do constantly wonder if it is us and to get reassurance and complete confidence that it isn't is very difficult.

Hope things improve for you in the future