Epilepsy

[BJ24]

I have heard different things on this, but can depression be caused or can it be related to Epilepsy? I've had depression and anxiety (mainly social anxiety) for pretty much all of my life. This past year I had a Gran Mal Seizure and was diagnosed with epilepsy due to a positive EEG. Although I have a new neurologist who just calls it a seizure disorder. Anyway, the depression has always been a very hard thing to deal with, but in spite of this, I've been able to make a living for myself. I've had help from Psychologists and Psychiatrists and was helped a lot by anti-depressants. Well earlier this year, I was put on Topamax. I had a severe reaction to it, starting the day after starting it, which caused severe depression with suicidal thoughts. I sought counseling at work, and was immediately sent to a Psychiatrist that I had never seen before due to very odd behavior and severe depression. (I was not under the care of a Psychiatrist at the time, my PCP was prescribing my antidepressants.) The problem with the Topamax depression though was it was not the kind that made it hard to get out of bed and keep going. I had lots of energy, but was having really weird thoughts and when I talked, I had no inhibition as to what I was saying. So all of these crazy thoughts were coming out my mouth and I had no control over it, although at the time I did not realize my behavior was so odd. I take a small amount of pain pill due to a long time history of chronic pelvic and back pain before and after a hysterectomy The pain has gotten much better over the years due to physical therapy and changing my lifestyle, how I walk, getting a car without a clutch, new townhome without stairs, etc. etc. so the dosage of my pain pills had been greatly reduced and was still on that trend. Well, due to my odd behaviour at the Psychiatrist office and the pain medicine that I disclosed I was on, was not trying to hide it, it was automatically determined that I faked the episode and was just trying to get druge. The things that have happened since then have just been unbeliavable, including phone tapping, monitoring my appt. with my new Neurologist, inquiry into my presriptions at my pharmacy, etc. I had only changed Neurologist once and it was not to get new drugs. I was requesting to be taken off of the Topamax responsibly. I had changed Neuros because at my yearly appointment with my former one, I was unable to see her. Her Nurse Practitioner was the one I saw. Well I had questions for the Neuro, so I changed in hopes of getting better care. Well changing Neuros was seen as doctor shopping. So now apparently my name is flagged as a drug seeker and I am being treated as one at my new Neuro and at the Pharmacy, even the dentist office. I was put on Lamictal a few months ago, after the Topamax, and it is causing hair-loss. So now I'm wanting to report this to my Neuro, but I know it will be viewed as I'm waning a new drug, or whatever. So I'm leary about calling. Also my normal type of depression (non Topamax kind) is bad now, a lot has to do with all that's going on. I can't call anyone and report my depression for obvious reasons. I can tell I will not get fair treatment now, even if I end up at the Emergency room due to another seizure or car accident or whatever. (It has already been insinuated that I faked my seizure even the tongue biting, the bruises from falling, the urinary incontinence, and apparently somehow the positive EEG). Well to get back to the point, can this depression I have had all of my life, could it be related to Epilepsy? Also, if you have any advice on the other, I would definitely love to hear it...
Thanks,
BJ