Caregiving

[livingwith]

I recently started taking care of a 64 yr old woman with parkinson’s and demencia (spelling?) [dementia]. My major problem with her is the abuse I am receiving from her. When she does not get what she wants, she slaps my face open or fisted handed. I know she does not know/want to hurt me. I just do not know what to do about this.
It always seems to happen after she has eaten her last meal of the day. My boss has me giving her sweets after her supper, I do not know if this is the rea...Read the full article

[isme]

"I am not included in any of the health care appointments, therefore I can only rely on the person who has the power of attorney to relay the info to her doctors, which I do not think she is doing. All she does is threaten to put my Carol away if she does not change, I keep telling her Carol can not change with out the correct med’s. She keeps saying there is nothing to help her, but I keep reading of treatments and med’s that can help. Her only relative lives across country and when he visits he does not spend time with her. So of course he has no idea what I am dealing with."

I went through a similar situation with my Mother and Step-dad. I knew he was miss- medicating my mom (not with malice or intent, he was having mental problems of his own that I only understood after my mom died), and not giving the doctors all the information regarding her health. I have since found out I had the right too, 1) make an appointment with her doctor and voice my concerns. I would not have been given any medical information but I could have given helpful information for the doctor to have a better understanding for her treatment. 2) I could have taken my mom to my own or any other doctor or emergency room and voiced my concerns. 3) I should have had my mom sign a medical power of attorney for me or at least had her give permission to me in her files with her doctor. My mom died and I am now finding out just how bad things were because I am now my Step-dads only family and am caring for him. If I had known and acted then with what I know now my Mother would most likely still be alive and in better health.
As you are the care giver, I know it is reasonable to expect you would need a medical power-of-attorney for this lady incase of an unexpected need for medical attention. I would not delay in getting this. If family or the other responsible person isn’t willing to help maybe your local division of aging services or other senior help groups could advise. You don’t need the other people’s permission or a medical power of attorney to do any of the three things I listed though, so please take some action before you find it’s too late.

[luv4elderly]

It sounds like you may not be in it for the money but her "relatives" are surely in it for reasons other then her well being. You as caregiver should be involved in every aspect of her well being, including her doctor visits. I have been a caregiver for several elderly peeps who suffer with dimentia or alzheimers disease. I have always went with each one to every doctor visit and they respect any and all help I can give them as to her care and how they have been both physically and mentally. As for your little lady being mean, that comes natural with peeps who suffer with dementia, although you did say one thing I think is very weird. Do you sleep in same bed as your patiant, and if so why? This is unhealthy for you as well as the elderly person. Those that suffer with these diseases do not have any control over their brain therefore do not realize what they do or when they do it, I would suggest if ya have to sleep in the same room, at least put a side bed in there and this will take care of the "fondeling " problems you are having from your little lady. I also would advise you to have a serious conversation with whom ever it is that is in charge of her care in whole, relative, or your boss, whomever.....and request you be allowed to go to her doctor appointments with them, this is the only way you can give her 100% positive care. Good Luck, you sound like a loving person and I am sure you are great for the job.