Autism

[tommo]

So I went home for a week recently and was talking to my mom in the kitchen. At some point she said something to the effect of "thats because you're autistic." She wasn't poking fun at me or anything, she just kind of said it offhand.

I immediately said "what?" and stopped her, she changed the subject. My sister then walks in and I jokingly say that my mom just called me autistic. She just goes quiet, gets some food and leaves. An awkward silence falls over the kitchen.

It occurs to me now that as I was growing up my mom would occasionally say things about how it was her philosophy to not tell people about things they cannot change. She believes that if somebody has a mental handicap that you can't fix then you shouldn't tell them, as they might start using it as an excuse everywhere. On the flip side, she thinks you shouldn't tell somebody they are a genius because they might use it as an excuse to work less hard.

I lead a pretty normal life. I do have some quirks that I never put much thought into before:

I really really hate it when people touch me. However, I have had girlfriends and eventually I am comfortable with them when in private. I also really hate it when people walk too close or sit too close to me. I guess I'm a bit crazy about personal space but I usually don't say anything or make a big fuss about it, unless its with a person that I have to deal with a lot.

There are some other small things too that I never much thought about. I get along fine in social situations. I'm a bit socially awkward, but I make friends just fine.


Anyways, I'm kind of bothered by this autism thing. Is this actually something you can diagnose a person with having? I always thought autism was a super severe kind of thing, and I clearly don't have that. Should I approach my mother and force her to spill the beans (even though she probably won't say much more and it will be super super awkward)?

[katt]

I think I would tell my mother thank you for making you stong and confident.. some people shelter their kids for every little flaw and that only makes them weak.. I know, I sheltered my daughter because of a cronic illness and now if I could I would do it all differently because she is not independent and I know if I did it differently she would be alot better off today.... best of luck to you!!!!

[MomofEmma]

Ask your mom...Regardless of whether or not it seems awkward. That's irrelevant now.
I'm actually glad I came across this sight, my youngest child is mildly to moderate autistic. I didn't find out until she was 7 1/2 years old. Although we knew Emma had challenges, I never thought that she was autistic.
Hearing stories of individuals with this condition that lead normal productive lives is like light house for us.
Emma is doing extremely well, she socializes...has a group of friends. Hugs and kisses freely. The only thing that really is noticeable is her reaction to change, she becomes inverted and you can tell she is afraid.
I'm learning, as I'm sure you are that Autism is NOT a death sentence nor is it the end of the world. Autistic kids learn. Emma is like a mocking bird and will watch to see how other people behave in situations...no always a good thing but it means she can continue to grow.
So talk to your mom but most importantly be very proud of who you are and who your family is!